Update

Today I Hate: Feelings. Why? They suck.
Today I Love: My friend. Why? I'm at his house instead of mine.

  So wow, I haven't been here on the internet world in a while. There are two main reasons for this (aside from hating people but that's always a reason) and I will discuss them briefly now.

  I am writing this on my sister's lappy at my friend's house because I still do not have internet at my house and have only been able to use it at the library which I have not been able to get to because of pain. I still don't have internet because The Incompetent Boob has been trying to sabotage the lives of both myself and my sister, I guess because he doesn't have one himself. The Boob is now claiming that it's not working due to "memory problems" with the last password and if you know anything at all about computers--or even if you don't--this is laughable bullshit. Our computer friend is face palming and my sister and I are doing likewise.

  Pain. Pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain.
  This is something I used to avoid writing about and talking about (before it became my life) because everyone is on a massive ego trip and if you voice anything at all about your pain or your abuse or your shitty life you'll be labelled a pussy and immediately be subjected to a verbal ego wank-off that usually consists of them giving you an extremely unhelpful example of how easily your problems are solved and then you'll get to hear about all of their problems, 90% of which they have brought on themselves and 89% of which involve their insane spouse which they absolutely have not brought on them self, that's what you're doing.
  But I digress (sort of). I have been bedridden for most of the last month as my breasts decided to have another especially bad flareup. Not, thankfully, as bad as the one last December but bad enough to make my life Fucking Hell. Since I had to lie in bed all day my spine went out horribly (C1 forward this time) and instead of getting migraines it felt like my head was going to explode 24/7. My computer friend's dad was able to give me a ride to the chiropractor (thank god) as my usual ride's car is broken. I also had one of the worst periods I've had since starting the Vitex (a.k.a. chasteberry) which I am going to blame on the emotional train wreck of the preceding two and a half weeks.

  My breast flareup has gone down a bit, thankfully, but they are still giving me hell if I do too much of anything at all (except lying down which ruins my spine). I got the news that any kind of imaging to--maybe--find out what the hell is going on is out of the question due to the pain which was a kick to the nuts. Might talk about that later but might not. My breast issues are something I don't mind filling someone in on but as this is the internet I have some reservations about talking openly about my breasts for reasons I feel really don't need to be named.

  Right now, I'm just trying to get my stamina up enough to be able to get out for a walk daily and be able to do all my stretches at least once a day. Being able to eat at least two proper meals a day would be ideal but all the scrubbing and stirring, etc. exhausts me and aggravates my breasts too much to do regularly. Due to this I've lost weight which is bad because I don't have weight to lose.

  That said, I have been writing some but nothing I wish to share with anyone. It's been bad. Things have been really fucking bad. I'm trying to work in some comic-making time as I've got the outline for a few written out and am absolutely, positively itching to get back to work on that. So those are my goals right now.

  Yesterday I walked four miles to the grocery store to get oatmeal and fake hotdogs. I sat in the deli area where I read and picked at the zits on my forehead for an hour.

  That was the most relaxed I have been in over a month.

  -Erin