The Epic Epoch of Erin

Today I Hate: My Urinary System. Why? Keep reading.
Today I Love: Stickers. Why? The cover of my "Various Writings" journal is now quite vibrant. :)

   I have interstitial cystitis (IC). If you want the generalized medical definition then you can go right on ahead and get a book from the library or open another web browser and research it yourself. I am going to write about what it feels like for me.

   Even though tests always come back normal it feels always like I am having a really bad bladder infection, like I have a bladder full of razor blades that I have to then force out of my urethra every twenty minutes on account of not being able to hold my piss. Leaking is a thing that will happen and often when I do pee only a little tiny amount comes out even though it feels like a full bladder. Sometimes just tensing my muscles will cause my urethra to start spasming uncontrollably which feels like electrical shocks all up through my bladder. This will sound weird but it can also feel sort of like it's clogged and I will usually get a feeling like constipation when I try to pee but cannot. Often it feels like pissing acid and the burning WILL NOT go away and nothing will help to relieve it.
   This all makes it somewhat difficult to have/make friends. I don't like to scare people off before I've even gotten to know them by telling them about my "private" medical problems but I stopped caring about that when people assumed I was running to the bathroom every twenty minutes or so because I was puking up my food. I also like to explain so whoever they are can understand why it is I need constant access to a bathroom or why it is I suddenly double up in pain. Also, leaking in someone's car is just not an experience anyone wants to have ever.
   Today it is especially bad, probably because I am going to start my period and the inflammation gets much worse with PMS. I know this is not the worst thing in the world but I don't care, because I have spent most of yesterday and today curled up in pain and that is fucking miserable. I am writing about it today because it is especially bad right now and I am having trouble thinking of anything else.

   This is Erin, signing off to go to the bathroom.